U.S. Catholic bishops are currently reviewing the draft of a pastoral letter entitled “Marriage: Love and Life in the Divine Plan,” which they will formally consider at their Nov. 16-19 national meeting. The National Catholic Reporter quotes from this 57-page document, saying that the bishops decry the rise of same-sex marriage as “one of the most troubling developments in contemporary culture.” Same-sex marriage, they further say, “redefines the nature of marriage and the family and, as a result, harms both the intrinsic dignity of every human person and the common good of society.”
I must say that the Catholic Church is surprisingly able to up the ante on my outrage, over and over again–and now this appalling statement. Their saying that same-sex marriage is “one of the most troubling developments in contemporary culture” makes me wonder how much the bishops are troubled by, say, the current development of global warming? Or job loss and foreclosure, leading to homelessness and hunger? Or the nuclear threat?
At any rate, I was moved to write the following letter to the church leaders charged with the formal review of the document. I invite you to join me, if you wish.
TO:
Cardinal Francis George, President, USCCB, 3211 Fourth St., NE, Washington, DC20017
Archbishop Francis E. Kurtz, Chair, USCCB Sub-Committee on Marriage and Family, 3211 Fourth St., NE, Washington, DC20017
Dear Cardinal George:
In regard to your review of the pastoral letter on same-sex marriage, may I comment in light of my experience. I am the Minister Emerita of a large Unitarian Universalist congregation in Portland, OR, where I served for 17 years. We have long been an open congregation, welcoming same-sex couples. The Acting Senior Minister (formerly the Associate Minister for 14 years) is an openly gay man.
I have united in Holy Union many gay and lesbian couples, and also married some couples, for the brief period in which marriage was legal in Oregon. I can assure you that love does not differ, whether in traditional couples or same-sex couples. Love is love, and it is holy, and given of God. Marriage simply allows the couple to formalize what is already given of God and of their own hearts and further allows them to declare their love to the community and to draw that community around them, in mutual support. This is a healthful and nurturing act, for all.
The times are changing. At one time, good people–many of them church people–argued for slavery, saying that blacks “could not handle freedom,” and that slavery “solved the unemployment problem.” One day history will look upon the gay marriage question in the same manner–and people will be incredulous at the arguments against it. How will you and your church be judged then?
The best way to understand the love and commitment of same-sex couples is to get to know some of these couples, as I have done over the years. Some that I married had been together for 15 or 20 years or longer, and many same-sex couples are raising children together in happy, healthy families.
Experience rather than dogma will show the truth–people change when they see the evidence of loving relationship in their lives and in the lives of others. I suggest that you go closer, and see for yourself.
Know that many of us are praying that your heart will be moved to include all in the church family, equally and without question as to their sexual identity and way of loving. All love is given of God, without exception.
Prayerfully written,
(Rev. Dr.) Marilyn Sewell
