Many of you know that I have been working on a documentary film–actually, I’m the subject of the film–for almost three years now.  We are going to have our World Premiere at the Nashville Film Festival this Friday night, April 16, and the film will screen again on 3:45 Sunday.  The film is called “Raw Faith.”  It is by Sameboat Productions, a nonprofit company a few of us formed, and the director is Peter Wiedensmith.j

I just learned yesterday that our film has been given the PBS Human Spirit Award.  This is a significant award because that means our film will be shown on the local affiliate of PBS, and we will be in conversation with them about the possibility of a national PBS showing.

I thought the wording of the PBS panel that selected us from the five nominated films was eloquent and meaningful, and I will repeat it here:

“The NPT <Nashville Public Television>  Human Spirit Award, presented each year by NPT to a Nashville Film Festival documentary selection, acknowledges a filmmaker’s work that best explores and captures the human spirit.  The film must illuminate in a high artistic manner the important characteristics of what it means to be human: generosity, kindness, mercy, compassion, fortitude and honor. 

“‘In the past, NPT has honored films exploring the human spirit of those that have crossed racial barriers, given back to their homelands or had the courage to fight corporate goliaths,’ said the NPT Human Spirit Award jury in a joint statement.  ‘This year we recognize a filmmaker who captured one of the most unique of human characteristics, that of looking inward.  In joining Marilyn Sewell on her journey of personal discovery, Wiedensmith gives us a stunning and candid portrait of the power and value of exploring just who we are and where we’re going.  We, the viewer, are better for it.’”

When the Sameboat Production Company (all five of us!) set out to make a film, we wanted to make a film about human values.  That’s why, recognizing our interdependence, we called ourselves “Sameboat.”   We wanted to make a film that was honest, one that had integrity.  And the story unfolded in real time, as it happened, surprising all of us along the way.  Marilyn had not met George when the film started, and when he came on the scene, everything changed, as you might imagine.  Now the film was not just about her–it was about them, as well.  What was going to happen?  Marilyn didn’t know.  George didn’t know.  And Peter, the director, didn’t know.  The film led us on a personal and a creative journey.

As the “subject” of the film, I was more than a little daunted.  At the beginning of the project, I said to Peter, “Why me?  I’m not brilliant, I’m not particularly funny.  All I have to offer is honesty.  I can be real.  And that is what I’ll try to do, throughout the making of the film.”  “Raw Faith” went deeper than anyone thought it would, or could, emotionally and spiritually, and we all learned more about ourselves from the experiencing of creating the film.  I learned more about loving, and that’s the lesson that’s bedrock in human life, so now as we finish our work, I feel satisfied and grateful. 

Our goal all along has been to create a well-made film that would move and inspire people.  We think we have done that.  Now we get to see if other people agree with that assessment.  With the Nashville Film Festival, we’re taking this baby out in public for the first time.  It’s scary.  But it’s time.  And we offer it with the same faith in which in was made. 

I recently saw the film “Mother,” in a small theater of the Fox complex downtown–the film had received excellent reviews, and actually a rare A from our local film critic, so I wanted to see it.  It is an amazing and disconcerting film.

On the most superficial level, it is a story of murder and intrigue–a “whodunit.”  But that’s only what drives the plot–not what makes the film memorable–or any film memorable, for me: for a film to be great, it has to have believable characters, and it has to go deep.  “Mother” does both.

I do not want to give away the serpentine plot/ending, but you will be surprised, I expect.  In fact, you will be surprised over and over again.  That’s why I use the word “disconcerting” to describe the film.  You see, you really can’t pin labels on people in this film–there are no “good guys” and “bad guys.”  There are people who are driven by feelings to do sometimes wonderful, things and sometimes terrible, disturbing things.  Mistakes are made.  Secrets are kept.  People who should be punished sometimes are not.  Villains are heroes, and vice-versa.  Just like . . . well, life. 

The viewers’ responses at the end of the film were interesting to me.  Portland audiences that see serious foreign films like this one are an appreciative bunch–they sit there through the credits, in awe at the filmmaker’s craft.  Not this time, though.  People couldn’t wait to get out of the theater.  They virtually raced out, as soon as it was (thankfully) over.  Why this strange response, I wondered.

I think we like our stories–our books and our films and our TV shows–to picture life as it should be, righting the wrongs, or at least showing up the bad guys for who they are, so we can all boo and hiss. Give us heroes, please!   Nobody likes to be confronted with the fact that we’re all capable of great good and great evil.  Nobody like to live in the margins.  You see, it gives us so little sense of control over ourselves and others.  About as much as we really have.

Many of you know that I’ve been working on a film for a long time–in fact, it has been about three years now.  The good news is that the film, entitled “Raw Faith,” will have its World Premiere at the Nashville Film Festival on April 16!  It will screen again on April 18.  It is one of 5 films nominated for the “Humanity Award.”

“Raw Faith” is a full-length documentary about my transition out of parish ministry and my surprise in falling in love, and then struggling to accept that love.

I had no idea when Scott and Ashley MacEachern, members of First Unitarian, suggested that I do a film that this would be the result!  The film got jump-started with some funding from Jane and Jim Driscoll; we formed a non-profit film board called SameBoat; and we began looking for a director.  We eventually decided upon Peter Wiedensmith–and again, I jumped into the project not knowing much about Peter.  I had no idea how marvelously skilled and committed Peter is, and how generously he would give of himself to this project.

No one guessed where the film would go, in terms of its narrative line, when we got started–I had as yet to connect with George, the love interest in the film.  But when that happened, everything changed–everything in my life, and of course everything in the supposed direction of the film.  Yes, it was about leaving my beloved congregation, but the film also had to examine my fears about love, which reached way back to my childhood, fears that had to be dealt with.

I want all of you who are interested to be able to see the really wonderful trailer that Peter created, and also to hear “Love Will Remain,” an original song by Sheryl Crow which was inspired by and written for our film.  If you like what you see, please become a “fan” of “Raw Faith”–and please pass the trailer on to friends who might be interested.  The link is www.facebook.com/rawfaith

We haven’t as yet nailed down a date for the Portland premiere, but as soon as we do, I’ll let everyone know.  Many of you who read my “Reflections” attend First Unitarian and will in fact be seen in the congregation as the camera pans over the audience–and some of you are present in interviews.  Thanks to Tom Disrud, to the staff, and to all the congregants who made this film possible.  I see it as an extension of my ministry, now that I have left the parish.  I hope that all who see it will be uplifted and inspired. 

Yesterday was the 30th anniversary of the assassination of Oscar Romero, the Archbishop of San Salvador.  The newly appointed Archbishop called for the investigation of the murders and human rights violations going on in his country; he called attention to the huge disparity of wealth, with the landed gentry profiting from the hard labor of the peasants.  For these efforts, Rome called him to task.  From the Church’s perspective, poverty was caused by individual failings, not by systemic sin, such as a repressive regime. 

On March 23, 1980, Romero gave a sermon in which he begged those carrying out the nefarious commands of the government to cease and desist–to heed God’s commandments of love and brotherhood, instead.  The following day Romero was assassinated, shot dead, by a paid killer during Mass as he was preparing to serve Communion.  His funeral service was attended by more than a quarter of a million people from all over the world, and many poor people who had been apolitical in the past became activists.  A civil war caused the deaths of 75,000 people, and in 1992, peace accords between the Salvadoran government and the rebels were signed in Mexico–in the presence of the Catholic Church.  The cease fire, which began in February of 1992, has never been broken.  Elections were to be monitored by an outside observing system. 

And now I move to a more current event.  The day before last Sunday’s historic health care vote, President Obama spoke, unrehearsed, to the House Democrats.  Near the end of Obama’s speech, he said the following: “Every once in a while a moment comes when you have a chance to vindicate all those best hopes that you had about yourself, about this country, where you have a chance to make good on those promises that you made . . . .  And this is the time to make true on that promise.  We are not bound to win, but we are bound to be true.  We are not bound to succeed, but we are bound to let whatever light we have shine.” (quoted by Paul Krugman, NY Times, 3/22) 

There are moments in time when it is as clear as glass–we have a choice, and we know what is right.  We also know that there may be a cost, and the cost may be great, in fact.  But what is the alternative?  To take the easy way, to give in to the wrong, may give ease and protection in the moment–but it’s never a good choice in the long haul.  Because the right always emerges in the end, and the wrong always shows itself for what it is.  There really is no alternative.  Even if we “lose” for the moment, we never lose when we do the right thing.  It’s only ever a matter of time.

A priest in the German Archdiocese of Munich and Freising who was accused of molesting boys was sent to therapy in 1980, and later allowed to return to his pastoral duties, when he again abused children and was finally prosecuted (NY Times, 3/13/p. 1).  This is not an unusual story–except that in this case the priest was actually prosecuted, and in most cases, the priest in question is never brought to justice.  What is significant about this particular story, however, is that Pope Benedict headed the Archdiocese at the time this “serious mistake”  (words of a senior church official) occurred and in fact approved the priest’s transfer.  A subordinate has taken “full responsibility,” according to a statement by the archdiocese.  This is only the tip of the proverbial abuse iceberg, in that hundreds more abuse victims have recently come forward in Germany.

Now let me get this right.  I’m the boss, and I approve an order–so I must know what I’m approving–but I have no responsibility for the consequences of that decision?  This is an old, old story–it’s called “passing the buck,” and it goes back as far as the Biblical account of Adam and Eve.  God told Adam and Eve that they could have every good thing in the Garden of Eden, but they were to leave that one apple tree alone–the tree of the knowledge of goodness and evil.  Well, you know the story.  They just had to have an apple.  They tried to hide from God (the one thing you can’t hide from), and when confronted with what they had done, what did they say?  Adam says, “Hey, it isn’t my fault–Eve gave me the apple!  And Eve?  What was her rationale?  Eve says, “It was the snake’s fault–he tempted me!” 

Christianity is firmly grounded in the theology of forgiveness–in fact, if a person truly takes responsibility for an act and repents, that person can be forgiven any sin.  For the Pope to use a PR tactic to avoid responsibility for his own deeds effectively undermines his moral authority.  And of course, that’s the only power he has.  Benedict’s central goal as Pope is the “re-Christianization” of Europe.  When will the Catholic hierarchy learn that evasiveness and lies serve only to discredit its message.  And where else should the truth start but with the Pope.