There really is such a thing as a broken heart says cardiologist Ilan Wittstein, of Johns Hopkins. Hopkins researchers have isolated a phenomenon called “stress cardiomyopathy” (known colloquially as “broken heart syndrome”), which is triggered by sudden emotional shock. Shocking news, such as learning of the unexpected death of a loved one, can result in a heart condition that mimics a massive heart attack.
It seems that such patients are often misdiagnosed. What they are suffering from is a surge in stress hormones which temporarily “stun” the heart. The overly stimulated nervous system of the individual releases large amounts of adrenalin and noradrenalin into the blood stream, along with their breakdown products. These chemicals can be toxic to the heart, producing symptoms similar to a classic heart attack, such as chest pain, fluid in the lungs, shortness of breath, and even heart failure. But the good news is that the effect is reversible, and recovery is generally quick.
When I read about these researchers and their discovery, I began to consider more comprehensive effects of a broken heart. It’s not just momentary stunning. Sometimes people experience a loss that they simply cannot overcome. I’m thinking of my grandparents, with whom I grew up. They were married for 67 years, and then died in their late 80′s within 6 months of each other. As I have observed in my ministry, this is not an uncommon story with elderly couples. The two seem to have become one in such a way that when one leaves, the other simply loses incentive to stay, and the body responds by letting go of life.
Grief is more difficult on our physical systems that we may yet understand. It is not uncommon for one who has lost a loved one to be disoriented, to get in an accident, to fall seriously ill. One of my congregants who lost her husband of many years failed to report this event to her doctor, and yet her deep grieving inevitably will affect her physically, so I encouraged her to let him know what she is going through emotionally.
Serious loss shakes us to the core. We are likely to feel not only sadness, but anger and guilt. Our brain and entire nervous system are working overtime, so we become distracted, spacey. We are forgetful, and we don’t think clearly. The right words just won’t come anymore. Physiologically, we may feel heavy and tired, and pain or discomfort may emerge in those systems which are our weakest, whether it’s a back or a neck or a stomach.
Remember that bumper sticker that used to encourage us to practice “random acts of kindness”? We never know what people may be going through. Sometimes a clerk may be rude, or a driver may cut us off in traffic. Would it make a difference if we knew that this person had just lost a spouse or a child? We never know when we might be dealing with someone who has just had his heart broken in two, someone who desperately needs to heal. Kindness rather than judgment may be the better way.
