Living Well Each Day

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This morning I opened the newspaper to learn that 153 passengers have died in a fiery plane crash at the Madrid airport.  I was in that airport just three days ago, on my way to Amsterdam, and from there, flying back to Portland.  I remember remarking to my companion, “It’s amazing how safe air travel is these days,” and I went on to quote the latest information I had read about all the safety features now incorporated into planes, features which have been added because of our learning from past accidents. 

Spanair Flight JK5022 was troubled from the beginning.  One attempt at take-off had been aborted, and departure was delayed for an hour.  (Oregonian, 7/21)  And then shortly after take-off, the plane swerved off the end of the runway, crashed into a ravine, and burst into flames.  Many of those on board were families headed to the Canary Islands for late-August holidays.  Remarkably, 19 passengers survived, including 2 children.  Some people actually walked away from the wreckage, said Ervigio Corral, head of emergency rescue services.  But he added that he and other emergency workers faced a “grim scene of widely scattered corpses . . . .”

So I am safely home, with nothing more than jet-lag to contend with.  And memories of a lovely vacation in which absolutely nothing went wrong.  No accidents.  No illness.  Not even a mistake in the reservations or getting caught in the rain.  And I am thankful, because it might not have been so.  I might have been on the plane, or a plane, that crashed.  Any one of us might have been. 

And so I’m taking time once again this morning to remember the fragility of the flesh.  To remember that today I am here, but I am not promised tomorrow.  To know that this day, this hour, this moment, should be cherished and lived well, for we have the present, and that alone.

Further, then, I must ask myself, “What does it mean, to live well?”  Perhaps it means to live each day as if it were the last.  To live without rancor, to act with kindness, to move among others with an open heart, to speak no nonsense but only the truth, to laugh from deep within, to see beauty wherever it appears, to look upon suffering with compassion but never with pity, to walk with humility, knowing that only by grace am I living at all.  To acknowledge that one day I will be among those who have run out of time, run out of opportunity to work and play and love, and therefore to be awake, fully awake, while I live.

 

Your Bully Uncle

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We all have some relatives who are . . . well, difficult and embarrassing.  Suppose you had an uncle who, during holiday visits, was always first to the dinner table and then demanded that he get most of the food.  Suppose when others objected, he told them that he was a muscle-man and would simply push them aside if they resisted.  Suppose when people asked him to share, explaining that the children were hungry, he disregarded their pleas and looked only to fill his own stomach.  If you had an uncle like that, I expect it wouldn’t be long before he would no longer be invited to dinner. 

 

Well, we do have an uncle like that–Uncle Sam.  And it looks as if Uncle Sam is about to get his comeuppance.  World trade talks in Geneva collapsed recently, and the failure is being laid to the growing influence of China and India and the decreasing influence of the United States, on the world stage (NY Times, July 30).

 

The failure also signals the wavering credibility of the World Trade Organization, which makes and enforces international trade rules.  I was among the many protesters when the WTO came to Seattle in 2001.  The problem as I saw it then was that everyone needs to be at the table when such deals are cut–not just those wielding the most power.  Where were the representatives of the workers?  How was the environmental movement represented?  What about third-world countries with little economic power?

 

Unfortunately, the collapse of the talks will likely keep smaller and poorer countries from increasing their trade with more developed countries, and it could slow efforts to work out multilateral agreements on the important issue of global warming. 

 

The fact is that as soon as bullies can be avoided, they are no longer tolerated.  And the U.S. is fast losing its status as a superpower that can call the shots for the rest of the world.  I think Uncle Sam had better begin to learn some manners and develop some respect for others around the table, because those who misuse others will soon find themselves hungry and without friends.  “The times,” as Dylan sang, “they are a-changin.’”

 

Church Shootings in Tennessee

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To those who read my blog: I sent the following e-letter to my congregation yesterday, and I thought it appropriate to share the letter with you.

Dear Congregants,

People all over the nation were saddened Sunday morning with the news of the killings at the Tennessee Valley Unitarian Universalist Church in Knoxville, Tennessee.  The shooter, a Jim Adkisson, was tackled and subdued by church members, but not before he killed two person and wounded several more, some remaining in critical or serious condition.

It is always a shock when sacred space is violated.  It is especially disturbing that this deed took place when children were present, presenting a play, “Annie,” when the shooting began.  Our hearts go out to the members of the church, and we pray for them as they go through what will be a long and difficult time of healing.

The news reports say that Adkisson left a letter in his car saying that he chose this church because of their known liberal stance on many issues, and that he blamed “liberals” for his inability to find work.

That rationale appears to be entirely without logic.  But I think we have to understand that violence always happens in a context.  The context for these killings was set by Rush Limbaugh and his compatriots in the right-wing “hate media”–in fact, material by Bill O’Reilly and by Michael Savage were found in Adkisson’s possession.  Also responsible are those businesses that sponsor hate media and those individuals who regularly listen to and support these programs.  Because such talk is on radio and TV, sponsored by legitimate companies, it must be credible, many will conclude.  And it is then a small step for some who are driven over the edge by loss or grief or mental illness to retaliate against their supposed enemies.  Though Adkisson pulled the trigger and is responsible for the crime, these tragic deaths should not be laid upon one man alone, but should be seen as emerging out of the total context of pain and propaganda from which this man came.

We at First Unitarian in Portland, Oregon, are widely known for our support of liberal causes, and we have always been vulnerable to acts of retaliation.  We have a security guard present every Sunday morning, and our sextons and our ushers are trained to respond to needs or disturbances in the service, whether they be from a troubled visitor or for a medical emergency.  We have had a very occasional medical emergency, but nothing serious, and thankfully we have never been visited by acts of violence.

Because we are a church, we take risks of various kinds.  We take in individuals that other organizations would reject.  We take stands that might be unpopular.  We do what is right, though it might be costly in various ways.  But if we did not go forward as a moral force in our society, we might as well close our doors.  We would be merely a social club or a debating society and not a place where lives are changed and where those lives reach out and change the larger world.

Yes, we are liberals in the sense of being generous, egalitarian, open, justice-seeking people.  We’ll keep witness with our message.  We’ll keep our banners up.  We’ll keep the light shining from the steeple in the Eliot Chapel every night, letting our city know where we stand.  Because that’s who we are and that’s why we exist. 

 

Botox for Bridesmaids

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I read the NY Times regularly, for their in-depth coverage of the news.  And from time to time the Times publishes feature articles about cultural trends–mainly in Manhattan, and mainly among the rich, it seems.

I have read about parents who spend $25,000 on their 6-year-old’s birthday party.  I have seen an article about women who are having foot surgery so they can wear the latest Jimmy Choo creations.  I know that some 12-year-olds have their own interior decorators.  And now an article appears about the demands that some brides are making on the attendants at their weddings (7/24, p. E3).

A Ms. Knauer, 35-year-old owner of a staffing agency in Manhattan, is offering “cosmetic interventions” for those in her bridal party, including her mother and future mother-in-law.  Each woman will receive a facial assessment by an “aesthetician” and will be able to go forward with a treatment plan before the December wedding.

No longer is it enough for a bridesmaid to get her hair done by a stylist and wear a ridiculous-looking dress that will never see the light of day again, but now some brides are “gifting” their attendants with dermal fillers and tooth-whitening.

Another bride went a step–no, several steps–further when she told her attendants that she had found a doctor in L.A. who was willing to do four breast augmentation operations for the price of two, and she would like them to go under the knife.  One of her attendants, Becky Lee, commented, “We’re all Asian and didn’t have a whole lot of cleavage.”  Ms. Lee felt that the bride’s request was excessive and opted for a push-up bra. 

But such bizarre requests apparently are not confined to New York alone.  Two weeks ago, a company called Health Travel Guides exhibited for the first time at a Dallas Bridal Show.  “We received 30 requests for quotes among the bridal show attendees–mostly for plastic surgery such as liposuction and breast augmentation,” said Sandra Miller, the company’s representative. 

Texas, I can understand.  Like New York, Texas has some folks who have more money than good sense.  But New Jersey?  A Ms. Goldberg tactfully broke the news to her mother-in-law-to-be that her son’s chosen one would like her to get rid of the crow’s feet marring her face before the Big Day.

All I can is that if my son’s beloved asked me to do that, I would take my son aside and have a heart-to-heart talk with him.  I would say, “Son, I feel obliged as a mother to warn you.  I will say this only once.  You’re about to marry a woman who doesn’t like herself the way she is, and never will.  She is a woman who will spend the household money foolishly.  She may never want to have children, because of course the little tikes are demanding and do some damage to a woman’s girlish figure.  She may spend more time staring in the mirror than looking at you.  I cannot tell you who to marry or not to marry, and I will of course support you, and your bride, whatever you decide to do.  But know what you’re getting into.”

And a final word now for brides to be, and women in general.  You will get old, unless you die young.  Eventually, no matter how many skin treatments you get, you will die.  You will not be remembered for your smooth, unwrinkled face and your big breasts.  You will be remembered, or not, for your capacity to love, for how completely you can give yourself to something beyond yourself. 

And you can put your money on that.