Botox for Bridesmaids

I read the NY Times regularly, for their in-depth coverage of the news.  And from time to time the Times publishes feature articles about cultural trends–mainly in Manhattan, and mainly among the rich, it seems.

I have read about parents who spend $25,000 on their 6-year-old’s birthday party.  I have seen an article about women who are having foot surgery so they can wear the latest Jimmy Choo creations.  I know that some 12-year-olds have their own interior decorators.  And now an article appears about the demands that some brides are making on the attendants at their weddings (7/24, p. E3).

A Ms. Knauer, 35-year-old owner of a staffing agency in Manhattan, is offering “cosmetic interventions” for those in her bridal party, including her mother and future mother-in-law.  Each woman will receive a facial assessment by an “aesthetician” and will be able to go forward with a treatment plan before the December wedding.

No longer is it enough for a bridesmaid to get her hair done by a stylist and wear a ridiculous-looking dress that will never see the light of day again, but now some brides are “gifting” their attendants with dermal fillers and tooth-whitening.

Another bride went a step–no, several steps–further when she told her attendants that she had found a doctor in L.A. who was willing to do four breast augmentation operations for the price of two, and she would like them to go under the knife.  One of her attendants, Becky Lee, commented, “We’re all Asian and didn’t have a whole lot of cleavage.”  Ms. Lee felt that the bride’s request was excessive and opted for a push-up bra. 

But such bizarre requests apparently are not confined to New York alone.  Two weeks ago, a company called Health Travel Guides exhibited for the first time at a Dallas Bridal Show.  “We received 30 requests for quotes among the bridal show attendees–mostly for plastic surgery such as liposuction and breast augmentation,” said Sandra Miller, the company’s representative. 

Texas, I can understand.  Like New York, Texas has some folks who have more money than good sense.  But New Jersey?  A Ms. Goldberg tactfully broke the news to her mother-in-law-to-be that her son’s chosen one would like her to get rid of the crow’s feet marring her face before the Big Day.

All I can is that if my son’s beloved asked me to do that, I would take my son aside and have a heart-to-heart talk with him.  I would say, “Son, I feel obliged as a mother to warn you.  I will say this only once.  You’re about to marry a woman who doesn’t like herself the way she is, and never will.  She is a woman who will spend the household money foolishly.  She may never want to have children, because of course the little tikes are demanding and do some damage to a woman’s girlish figure.  She may spend more time staring in the mirror than looking at you.  I cannot tell you who to marry or not to marry, and I will of course support you, and your bride, whatever you decide to do.  But know what you’re getting into.”

And a final word now for brides to be, and women in general.  You will get old, unless you die young.  Eventually, no matter how many skin treatments you get, you will die.  You will not be remembered for your smooth, unwrinkled face and your big breasts.  You will be remembered, or not, for your capacity to love, for how completely you can give yourself to something beyond yourself. 

And you can put your money on that.